>Day 3: Tracking spirit-wind

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A chalicer never loses sight of the Spirit (Luke 15). Instead of small little saccades, the eyes of the heart of a chalicer have that long look of the skillful tracker, always alert for signs of Spirit/Wind (John 3). Stillness and inner quiet are essential (1 Kings 19). Blaring trumpets, crashing gongs and clanging cymbals are not useful. Instead fix the eyes of the heart upon the Spirit and pursue it – keep looking, don’t dare lose sight of the Spirit (Luke 15).

Just be here

When I know what I am waiting for, and since I am waiting, then all I can do is be here and wait. Go to the desert and wait, god told me. I did. But I did not wait. I decided to do things while I waited, and boy did I almost miss the boat.

It is always this way. It is hard to stay the course, to keep focus. But once I have a strategy, I have goals, and I can stay the course to the completion of the mission. And the most important thing to do is to be here.

In a sense there is nothing else to do. I am a fish, in a net, pulled slowly but too fast out of water. I am here. And here is the only place I can be.

Why is that? Because God is. Sounds like gibberish! But it is so simple. God is, I Am that I Am, or however you translate it. It means God is. Where there is God there is Life and Truth and Light, and all other capitalized words.

This is why it is so hard to see God, to know God’s Presence. Not because God is remote – that is how I see it when I am deep underwater. God is so remote. But the truth is that I am the one who is remote. I am the lost sheep. I may complain that the flock and the shepherd are so far away and they left me alone. But the truth of the matter is that I wondered away from the fold and got lost.

God is invisible because God is completely here and now. Not a moment ago and not a moment in the future. God is omniscient for the same reason. He is Present to the 10-dimensional Creation. That is a weird way of saying “God is”.

So the main part of the work is to be here. This means to be here with whatever is here. To begin do this: understand (intellectually) that whatever is here is God. Once you experience this, the intellectual realization will seem clumsy at best. Experience, complete overwhelming experience which includes the senses as well as the intellect, is grounded on the present. So experience is closer to the Truth than discursive thought.

How will I know that this experience is true? It may simply be a figment of my imagination. It is important to know how to discern the spirits. The first rule for discernment is to check the experience against the strategy – does it further my strategic goals? The second test is anchoring – does this experience anchor me in reality or sends me off in delicious flights of fancy? If it is flight, then I will be grateful for the wings, enjoy the flight (always enjoy what is given me) and either put it in my bag for future use (nothing wrong with having a harmonica or a pair of angel’s wings in my bag), or return it. The final rule of discernment is to look around – is God here? If God is here, all’s well – if I do not see God, then it is chaff.

Strategies vary. They should. I have a different calling than someone else. Sometimes a group of people joins in one quest – all knights after one Holy Grail. But all strategies begin and end in one required step: be present.

Strategies are also non-personal. Any logical plan I make is at best a tactic. The strategy comes from God who waits in the present like the prodigal father waiting for the wayward son.

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About spaceloom

An urban monk, and an experienced spiritual director with a Masters in Psychology. Married with two children. Want to know me better? Read my thoughts.
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