>Day 7: Death and rebirth

>A chalicer’s life is one of rebirth (Matthew 18). The only way to catch the Spirit is to be born again – a baby and naked and defenseless.

How do you catch wind with your bare hands?

When I was made an apostle, I was born again. I become a child. I acted as a child, I did the things of a child. I will not grow up. I will go as a child. A wise child, for sure, but a child-like. A child armed, a child old with knowledge. A child who is sent to this present moment to catch fish, to skin them, to cook them, and to serve them. This child which is older and wiser than I am is the one who speaks my true name, who knows the shibolleth, who knows the key to decrypt the message. This child catches the wind with its bare hands. How do I catch wind with my bare hands?

But I know. If I close my fist I catch nothing. But if I open my hand – I catch it all. When I was a fish I swam and swam and I used up all the ocean. When I was given wings I soared and flew and I used up all the sky. I was caught in the net. I was skinned and cooked and served and eaten. I died. Now I am a fisher-child. I catch the wind. I catch all of it. When I was a fish if I needed to swim a little I swam a little; if I needed to swim much, I swam much; if I needed to swim fast the water rushed by fast; if I needed to swim slowly the water was thick as soup. When I flew it was the same. When I needed to fly a little the sky was small; when I needed to fly far there was much sky; when I needed to fly fast, the air whooshed under my wings; when I needed to fly slowly, the air rose in hot currents to keep me floating in the air as if I was a fish swimming slowly under water. Circling above in the sky, circling under the water.

Now I am child. I catch much wind with my hands. I open my hands a little and a little spirit-wind fills it. I open my hands fully and all of the spirit-wind fill it fully and runs over.

So the fish, the bird and the child all use up all. Nothing is left. This is how I catch the wind with my bare hands.

About spaceloom

An urban monk, and an experienced spiritual director with a Masters in Psychology. Married with two children. Want to know me better? Read my thoughts.
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